All celebrities are rich, right? They all have tons of money, because they get paid a bizillion dollars to star in movies, magazines and television shows, which makes them super famous – and you can't be famous without being rich, right?
Wrong. Believe it or not, it's very possible to be in a blockbuster movie, drive a Ferrari to your therapy sessions and still be completely broke. Here are 7 famous celebrities who are actually completely broke:
Pamela Anderson is not a famous person. She's a famous pair of tits. In fact, she's probably the most famous pair of tits in the entire world, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. She figured out how to profit from the endowments that God (and a few dozen surgeons) gave her, and for that she deserves to be rich.
So how do the most famous tits in the world go broke? The Man, that's how. Apparently, Pammie owes almost $500,000 in unpaid taxes, proving that sex tape money can only go so far when you're living a life of constant titty surgery, lavish vacations with sleazy rock stars, and swallowing boners on camera. Let's just hope she's able to stretch her Dancing With the Stars money a little bit further than she was able to stretch her "Blowjobs on a Boat" money.
Somehow, Nicolas Cage has a magical ability to turn even the most simple and straight-forward roles into incredibly awkward ones. Therefore, it seems only appropriate that his finances are also incredibly awkward.
Nic Cage, known to close friends and family as "That Weird Dude Who's Always in the House Talking to Himself," filed for bankruptcy recently, after it was revealed that he owes $6 million in unpaid taxes. Yes, that's right: $6 MILLION. Nick is blaming his ex-manager for his current financial stranglehold, but apparently he's always had a penchant for spending tons of money on really stupid things, like $300,000 dinosaur skulls. Judging by his financial situation in real-life, it's starting to seem like the most awkward thing about his acting is that he's not acting at all. He's just a huge f*cking weirdo. Let's hope that The Sorcerer's Apprentice pays well.
Prior to his death last year, it was common knowledge that the King of Pop's financial situation was off the wall, but few knew how bad it really was.
Michael Jackson lost his prized sanctuary, Neverland Ranch, in 2007 after failing to pay off more than $4 million on the $27 million he owed on the property. Smooth Criminal, indeed. He had also lost his prized Beatles song catalog (declared by some to be his most valuable asset), which was seized to pay off a variety of debts. In his effort to heal the world with music, Jackson moonwalked up some major debt, and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't beat it.
I know what you're thinking: how could Sinbad, the world's most beloved maybe-black-maybe-white 80's stand up comedian be completely broke? His entire wardrobe was comprised of African mumus! He was in Jingle All the F*cking Way, for cryin' out loud!
What they didn't tell you in Jingle All The Way was that Sinbad owed about $8 million in unpaid taxes. Those pesky income taxes will get you every time, even if you're not entirely sure what ethnicity you should file under.
It's a sign of our current economic times: even the beloved star of Bio-Dome and Slap Shot 2: The Unbelievable Story of a Movie That Never Should've Been Made can crumble under the pressure of having to actually pay your taxes and make mortgage payments.
Stephen Baldwin's financial landslide is not the result of a nefarious financial manager, as was the case with Nic Cage. More likely, this happened because Stephen Baldwin is bat-shit crazy. He has Hannah Montana's initials tattooed on his arm, which is creepy, and before his house was seized, he was letting a homeless heroin addict crash at his pad, which is even more creepy. While his future may be unclear, one thing's for sure: Stephen Baldwin is going to be screaming "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!" all the way to the food bank line. Unless this jaw-droppingly ridiculous "charity" organization can save him:
Donald Trump owns a lot of property, but that doesn't mean that he's got a lot of cash to just throw around these days.
Since the real estate collapse in 2007, Trump has been foreclosing on a lot of development properties, and he's become a regular in bankruptcy courts over the past few years. I'm sure he's arranged his businesses in such a way that he can declare bankruptcy on certain portions of his empire, so while that doesn't necessarily mean that he's flat broke (broke dudes do not have wives as hot as Trump does), it does mean that he is – at least in some capacity – bankrupt. Under these circumstances, there's only one thing for a failing businessman to do: host a television game show that judges famous people's business savvy.
In very recent Asshole British Chefs Filing for Bankruptcy news, Gordon Ramsay has closed one of his London pubs due to an impending bankruptcy. Ramsay is the host of the popular foodie TV show Kitchen Nightmares, in which Ramsay goes around to struggling restaurants, swears a lot, insults the owners, draws a crowd to the restaurant with his celebrity status for a single night, and then declares everything okay and leaves.
Apparently, Ramsay has been dealing with financial struggles for a few years now, and the Devonshire Pub was the first of his establishments to fall victim to his impending bankruptcy quandary. Y'know what he should do? He should get that guy from Hell's Kitchen to come and yell at him and improve his- oh, wait…
Written by Justin Thomas
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